My daily caffeine intake comes in the form of Diet Pepsi. As part of the latest and last over-hyped Star Wars installment, Pepsi has just lost it as far as I can tell. Looking at the black bottles in the super market, I think I might be drinking Wookie Juice these days. With Chewbacca grinning? grimacing? getting ready to belch from too much soda? it has left me confused. The other side of the bottle still claims to be Diet Pepsi, but I grew up with Nerds candy though so it’s not completely out of the realm of possibility that this is a twofer.

This marketing approach has left me with a few burning questions.

• Is Diet Pepsi going after the hairy unkempt raging male population to steal market share from Jolt and Red Bull?
• Under all that fur is Chewy some sculpted Adonis with no body fat from his 0 calorie beverage?
• Is a wookie dexterous enough to even open a can or bottle of Diet Pepsi?

I guess now that Amidala is preggers, she doesn’t meet the needs of the Diet Pepsi demographic. Can’t have Diet Pepsi come across as matronly. Nope, definitely go with the wookie instead. No way of telling if he were ever fat under that fur. My personal vote would have been for Anakin changing to Vader. As Anakin gets whooped by Jedis he gets replaced with more and more parts that are as artificial as the sweetener! (*sip*)

Desires for sense and symbolism aside, my note to Pepsi. If you make half of your bottle a completely different color that has no Pepsi branding on it, its really hard to find your product in the store. My mega-mart has a “few” soda choices. I got to work off my zero calorie drink going up and down the aisle looking for the crack. I mean caffeine. I mean Diet Pepsi.

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